Background check your mate?

Description: Should you do some kind of background checking on your potential mate?

Categories: Dating, Pen Pals, Friends: Cyber Dating, Member Safety Online & Offline, Scam Warnings
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Submitted by: Nannette | View Member Profile | View Other Posts
Created: 12/21/2001

Here, at Shining Star Christian Singles Dating, we recommend that you never give out your personal contact information until you know someone very well. Yes, this is a Christian web site, yet it doesn't stop the potential that a predator may still join our web site (and all other Christian Singles web sites as well), in order to defraud an innocent member. After all, many Christians are loving, unsuspecting, and believe the best of everyone - what better place?

On other pages, I have tried to warn men about fraudulent international women who pledge their love and take their money (not all international – but many are). I have tried to warn women about unscrupulous men who are trying to take advantage. But please be assured that the vast majority of people on this web site are true Christians striving to find a partner.

Problems like these are not unique to our web site, even though we are one of the few that will admit there is such a problem. Our utmost responsibility is the safety of our members – so we repeatedly warn you. We try to do everything to provide you a confidential place to correspond and get to know someone first. If you choose to take your correspondence offline, it is now out of our control.

If ready to conduct an offline relationship, or if you are beyond that and wish to conduct a serious relationship, we also highly recommend asking this person for the name and phone number of their church and their pastor. If they are fraudulent, you most likely won't hear back from them at all. Or you may hear back from them, but be sure to compare the numbers they give you with those found by calling information. Then make a call, identify yourself, explain the situation, and ask for a reference. Let your "potential mate" know that you are going to do this, and tell them they are welcome to contact your church and pastor. If they get upset and don't want to do it, let it be a red flag to you. You may not wish to proceed with the relationship. (I wouldn't.)

Don't let yourself get too far in the relationship without finding out about this person. If you get too far, you may be blind to believing what people say, or fearful of checking on them because you don't want to hear anything bad.

If you are a Christian who doesn't believe in denominations and so does your "mate" so you have no pastor to go to for reference, I suggest a background check. If you can't afford a background check, then ask for a reference from a good friend or relative.

In all you do, pray diligently, use common sense, and proceed with caution.