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New for You! Give Up On Online Dating, or Keep Going?
Categories: Dating, Pen Pals, Friends: Cyber Dating, Member Surveys
This Post has been viewed 8220 times.
Submitted by: Nannette | View Member Profile | View Other Posts
Created: 12/2/2003
A member suggests:
For members who have been on this site for a long time,
should they ever come to a point where they should just "pack it in" and
try another way of meeting that special someone?
Note from Nannette: Before we get started, I realize that most everyone joins a dating site to actually meet someone for romance / marriage. But what about a way to alleviate the loneliness while waiting for Mr./Ms. Right to join? We provide a FREE CHAT room to ALL members where you may go to meet males and females who are Christians. ...just other people to talk to and help with the loneliness, hurt, etc. People to pray with. People to laugh and have fun with. We have a great group of CHATTERS, so why don't you press the CHAT tab and JAVA CHAT link and join our #FellowshipHall. Then who knows, while making friends there, you might make a life-long friendship that results in more!
InnerBeauty:
Female - Age Range: 21-30
You may use my alias
Can't say I've given up, cause my profile is still on here. However, I am not limiting myself to 'online' dating only. I have become involved in my church, and in other social activities where I might be able to get aquainted with the gentleman God has in store for me.
Also, after giving my 'dating life' over to God, it has been so much easier! Nobody likes the whole dating game, Right? He knows what/who is best for me (and you), so I figured... give it to the Master of love. He'll know how to handle it with quality care.
Although I would like to be married (but most of all find a loving, God fearing gentleman for my son to look up to), I am not going to let my emotions get ahold of my head. I just need to keep my options open and put my best foot forward - since God leads in mysterious ways! :0)
May He bless the path your taking.
SlvrRose:
Female - Age Range: 21-30
You may use my alias. I think that people who are thinking about 'packing it in' should hang in there. Why? Because maybe there is one thing in your life that is quite where it should be yet and God is waiting for you to come to Him about it. Once you have gone to God and realize that you should be focusing on God, while getting to know people in general on the site, then things will start to fall into place. God says that you must come to love Him above all things. Once we realize that all we need in the world is God then He will provide us with what we need. Sure it can get a little hum drum here on the site. But I won't give up. There are new people joining every day and if I just keep sending smiles, emails, or quick messages I will eventually get a response back. How do I know...because God is in charge.
Female - Age Range: 21-30
If only it were clear if the other person is at least as honest as I am. But that's a problem in the physical world too, not just in cyber space. The way I see it, it doesn't matter where you go to look for love. At least in cyber space, you can go through people faster, which saves everyone time. You can't do that in the 'real world.' What I don't like about the 'real world' is how, when you meet someone you really don't care too much to meet again, well, your stuck with them in your life, unless you uproot your whole life and move. (There are a lot of stalker-psychos out there, believe me.) At least there's a dose of anonymity in cyberspace. You can be honest about yourself (who you are inside, that is), and yet you can take friendship at the pace you choose. You don't have to worry about some jerk following you home from Safeway just because he -thought- you wanted to talk to him in the grocery line!
This part is not meant at all as an insult, but just out of honest financial frustration:
I would be much more inclined to be a Ruby member if there were some kind of price cap included in that plan. I don't think it's fair of any singles site to continue taking peoples money quarter after quarter after quarter for years on end just because God hasn't brought the right person to the site yet, if He is going to at all. Who knows? I could spend $1000+ here or at another site, just to meet my special someone at Safeway, only in that instance, I would want to talk to him and I wouldn't be afraid of him following me home!!! Who knows what plans God has for us all?
I don't think it is advisable to take advantage of His making some people wait for years at a time. I may meet my sweetheart here at this site, but it could happen 10 years from now, you know what I mean? Should I pay and pay and pay and pay and pay and pay and pay just because I don't know when it might happen? That is why I've 'gone dormant' until I receive an email from a man who at least MAY be my Mr. Right. I'm willing to take advantage of the random acts of kindness, but since they are random and only one or two days long, they haven't been very helpful so far. The 100 member little black book isn't available even for those days either; it would be nice if it was available on those days.
The point of this site IS to meet someone, right? Not just to keep paying too many times over in order to use the best features of this site when I don't even know whether, during a particular quarter, I'm wasting my time and money or not. It's an awful lot like gambling, which is totally against the Bible. I guess that's the main reason I don't feel good about being a constant Ruby member. Once in awhile has still been somewhat questionable, but I certainly am not interested in doing so ALL the time. No one who is a good steward of money would do that under these circumstances of uncertainty.
I've already paid two or three times already. I just really wish there were some kind of a reasonable 5 year price cap, like every 5 years it would start over again or something. That would be very kind of this site, and very reasonable. I would feel SO much better about being a Ruby member if things were like that.
[Editor's Note: Yes, you have paid for 3 memberships in the year and a half you have been here, but never have paid for a Ruby membership. However, even allowing Free Basic members takes money out of OUR pockets. We still have to pay for your bandwidth, the online mails that are sent to you from other members, the mails you send on free days, web server software, database application and space, IRC chat room, firewall software, firewall hardware security, the T-1 lines, etc. Plus, all the services you use take programming time, support time, advertising time, etc. As well, bringing Mr. Right to you costs us thousands of dollars a month in advertising. Long gone are the days of free submission to Yahoo or any other place for that matter. Even Google puts paid advertising at the top of the search results so no one notices your free listing farther down on the page. This site was designed to allow poor members to be able to have an affordable place to go, but it still requires financial support. Even if you opted for the $10 a month plan, that is about .33 cents a day, or less than a pizza a month -- all to enjoy making friends in our free chat room, and more. Other sites charge $50+ a month and don't even offer Free Basic plans where you may remain online and meet Mr./Ms. Right or have Free Random Acts of Kindness moments. And I haven't seen another site that allows you to use the chat room for free.]
Female - Age Range: 21-30
female 18-30...I have been praying that god would lead me into a new, and permanent relationship for the past 2 years with no response. I feel very discouraged and that maybe I will never find 'the one'. I am so tired of being alone, it is a very trying time. I know I need to hold on but it is often very difficult to do.
Retta31:
Female - Age Range: 31-40
You may use my alias
I don't think it's a matter of 'packing it in', but being opened to other ways of meeting someone special in addition, to online dating. I sometimes become concerned when I hear people say that all they ever do is talk in chat rooms or that they spend hours a day searching numerous dating sites. There has to be balance. Use online dating as a tool to meet people you wouldn't come in contact with in your every day life, but don't let it get out of control.
Meeting people through friends, through work, at church, neighbors, etc is also great, but you have to away from your computer long enough to meet them.
So don't get discouraged about online dating, but leave other options open too!
Female - Age Range: 31-40
I have been on this site for several years. I've had limited contact but I do enjoy reading about other people. I'm not going to give up yet but I spend less and less time on the site. Additionally, I do not hold my hopes only in this site but am open to any way God chooses to bring a partner into my life. The most important thing is to be in tune with God so that you recognize His voice when He tells you, 'this is the one.'
Female - Age Range: 31-40
I have to smile as I read the above. I definitely came to the point of giving up after trying this method for almost 3 yrs and after several relationships and many other meetings, however, I find myself back on. Why? I really have no idea other than just another shot. I have changed my approach though and as a result expect far less contacts, which is fine and expected. I have been completely upfront in my comments on the issue of relocation rather than discussing it after initial contact. The truth is long distance dating won't work long term (at least in most cases) so one person or the other has to eventually agree to move. I am not in a position to so someone else is going to have to make that sacrifice.
I think on-line meeting can work and know people that it has with however, someone has to move in order for that to happen. That isn't always possible so it makes this method of meeting more difficult. I think it's a shame there aren't more local ways for SDA's or other religions to meet one of like faith. I know in the conference I live in, the organized singles group disbanded, which is too bad.
Well best of luck to all and happy holidays!
Shaylee:
Female - Age Range: 31-40
A little over a year ago I gave up looking for the right man on this site but God had other plans for me and with in one month I met my future husband. We have set the date for marriage on June 13th, 2004. We are very happy together and have much in common with each other and God has seen fit for us both to work together in bringing people to the Lord and serving him. He will be a pastor and I am a preschool teacher. We both have found that every piece of our lives fit perfectly together.
My advice to someone that is thinking of giving up don't. The Lord used a smile for me and I responded to it. If I hadn't I would of not met Randy.
Pray to the Lord and give him time to find the right person that you seek. He will answer you in his time not always ours. I wish you all good luck and will be praying that you will find the right one.
You may use my alias name
Shaylee
Female - Age Range: 31-40
No. If you haven’t found the right kind of person yet, just become a free basic member and keep checking the website from time to time. In the meantime, you can try other avenues of meeting new people face to face. The option of online dating should still remain open. The Lord works in his own time, and he may not yet be ready for that special someone to sign up to the website.
pamelasw:
Female - Age Range: 41-50
You may use my alias.
pamelasw
Give up on online dating, or keep it going? That is a good question.
I have not been successful yet & I have thought about stoping my search. I know God does have someone for me. My patience is running thin at times just like that of other single people in their search of 'the right one' for them. I think sometimes that maybe what I have in my profile on what I have said about being a Grammy & my grandson having a bleeding disorder has turned guys away. Yes, it is better when they read my profile & are not interested then than find out later. What ever the reason is for the poor response it is still discourageing. I have gotten a couple of new friends to talk girl talk with that has helped me to understand some things about online dating & guys since they to are women. I will 'keep going' for now in the search for the guy that is strong enough to be my man. I pray that HE sends him soon.
Female - Age Range: 41-50
Well, one good thing might turn out; that you may find out someone lives close by you, and you didn't even know them as yet. That would be a very good thing for those who become tired of trying to meet someone from far away. You could stick it out as even a free member for a while for that, couldn't you?
Female - Age Range: 41-50
Yes I am almost ready to give up on dating altogether. I have been online dating for approximately 2 years. I met a few nice people but for the most part it has been disappointing. Meeting people who are interested in dating long term not in marriage, the long term relationship goal I am. I hope at this point I will have better luck with somene who has the moral and christian beleifs that I have.
Female - Age Range: 41-50
You may use my alis
We should always be meeting people. On line just lets us admit to the world that Hay I'm here and I am Single and this is what I am looking for or would like. Off line it is all guess at the start and lots of blind dates and thankless phone calls. 'Packing it is' is where I was a while back but The Lord has a purpose for us. The more exposure we have the better chances we have to help our selves. Just stop working at it and Let go & Let God. As in the real world us females still have it hard on line or off.
Female - Age Range: 41-50
I sometimes wonder if online dating is going to work for me. Being a large size woman is definitely a handicap but I am losing the weight slowly but surely by a sensible diet and exercise plan. I also have a problem with an underactive thyroid and I have to take medicine for that, too. I have found, in my own humble opinion, that most men are looking for the younger women(I am also a middle-aged woman)that are a size two and no bigger. Whatever. I have to say that I have met a man that is my age and we have met and had dinner and to my surprise, he is a member of my own church! I did find this out while chatting online. It is amazing what God can do! We are friends right now because we both want to take things a step at a time. It is amazing when you wait on God's timing. God Bless!
codewicr:
Female - Age Range: 41-50
You may use my alias. I thought I had found someone on another site, but it did not work out. Personally, I think that if a person has not made contact with anyone after a period of a month, then maybe it is best to just give up. It may not be the will of the Lord for that person to have someone in their life at that time.
NWBarbie:
Female - Age Range: 41-50
You may use my alias-NWBarbie,
I am beginning to wonder about this method of meeting someone special, myself. I see men on this website that have been here for more than six months or maybe years and still have not found that special someone. What is wrong with just venturing out and writing to someone? I haven't heard from you yet.
I have been quite discouraged with my success on this site. I have a few friends that are also members on this site and are very perfect of body and still get very few responses. What is wrong with you guys, just write us. We want to get to know you. I am really amazed. When I was in my teens, I had all the dates I wanted and then some. I find it very strange that it is so difficult to find someone of quality to write you back.
Gonna keep trying to wake you all up and notice that life is just beginning!! Ready to join me?
Female - Age Range: 41-50
Give up.
Female - Age Range: 51-60
I've been doing it for years now, usually patiently waiting on the Lord to find my mate 'In His time' - I see the success stories and am encouraged. Sometimes it's frustrating, of course, but so is 'in person' dating, and in my age group, there are only a few available potential mates in the nearby region, so cyber dating is actually a better way to meet Godly people. Of course, there is the problem of distance usually, and people say, 'You don't know who you're meeting that way!' But I say, when do you ever know someone before you meet them? And when is there ever 'no problems'?? Just use caution, and discretion, as you would when meeting someone at church or work, and this is just as good as any other way of meeting people, I say. And the frustration?? Give it to God. And the impatience? Wait on Him, too.
LookingForYou:
Female - Age Range: 51-60
You may use my alias.
Tough question! If there is a 'special someone'somewhere for me, God will lead me to him, or lead him to me. It may be on this site, or in some other way, so I will keep all my options open. God cannot lead me if I am standing still!
Female - Age Range: 51-60
on line or off line dating, either way hurts, if one of u decides to move on. id like to be able to find some one to love me just for me. and not feed me a line, to keep me interesed, then say , good by. i need to move on. that really bites.!!!!!!
Female - Age Range: 51-60
When I joined this dating service, I was so excited that I would be meeting men of the same faith that I am. Was I surprised! If you are not a '10', they don't answer your mail, or very few do, and then it is with a polite 'God bless you in your search'. Do men not want female friends? I'm not just interested in a husband, but male friends. Also these 60+ men looking for 20-40 year old females, what is that? You look at their preferences and know that you are not picture perfect, so why write. I really don't understand any of this. In person I have no problem attracting men of the world even though I am a plus size, but christian men are, for lack of a better word, snobs....give us a break! You guys are missing out on good christian friends and possibly the soulmate that you are so desperately searching for....We can't all be '10's' but we can all be friends!!!!!God loves us all.
Female - Age Range: 51-60
I've been on this site for over 2 yr.s off and on (mostly on). I have to say that with a very rare exception (only twice), I've only received emails from people that were not at all what I was looking for. I
would prefer to be friends first, and it looks like guys just aren't interested in that. I've got news for you guys; a close friendship first with a member of the opposite sex can be one of the best relationships of your life. There's nothing like a best friend and even if it doesn't eventually become the love of your life; it's a win win situation. Until you find the love of your life, you still have a close friend (or
friends) that you share things in your life with that are special to you; and when you do find that special 'one', your friends will be happy for you. With some people this would not work, but for many it would and can. My best friend (we were not romatically involved) passed away suddenly over 2 years ago, and I wouldn't trade that friendship for anything. We were friends for 13 yr.s. I even talked him into joining this singles site. I miss him terribly. I know we had a unigue relationship, because it's not many guys that can be close friends with a female without a romantic relationship. Anyway, to answer the question as to whether to stay on the site, I am going to let my membership expire. Who knows, I may end up joining again later..... Many blessings to you all
Female - Age Range: 51-60
I have only been doing this for 7 months, not as long as some people but I must admit I am getting very discouraged with the whole process. I will confess that I have become obsessed with finding a husband. I joined two other Christian websites. I have sent out more smiles, flirts, emails, IM's than you can imagine. The response back to me as only been about 1%. They will start writing then stop abruptly. I have not a clue as to why. They will give me their personal email address knowing they have no intention of responding. Why can't men be more honest. I asked a man the other day if he would tell a woman he met once if he would see her again & he said no. He didn't want to hurt her feelings. Give me a break, we are not weak women are we? Please,I want the truth, just tell me that way you will not leave me wondering. I have decided that trying to have a long distance relationship is not for me. I will only email men that are within 200 miles of me. I am not going to renew any memberships when they run out & I will ask God if He wants me to have a husband He will have to send him to my church or my front door. I don't believe falling in love should be this difficult. Thank you for letting me vent. I have wanted to do this for a long time.
Ladytaurus:
Female - Age Range: 51-60
You may use my alias. I have not been on this site for a long time but I have been single for a long time. At first, it was my choice as I had four children to raise and did not feel it was fair to ask a man to take on that responsibility. My family is raised and have their own now. I am independant not so much by choice but because I have had to be. I would like very much to share the rest of my life with a good person. I am easy to get along with, kind and generous. The men I have met in my age group have been either angry at their x or want to be taken care of. I have had my fill of unhappy people and those that are helpless. There must be nice men out there that just want a partner and not a nurse or mom. I am in good health and would love to travel and enjoy life with someone that is good hearted also. I would very much like to have a partner that shares a spiritual life too as then I know we could work through anything together.
Female - Age Range: 51-60
I am not sure what a long time is. New folks come on line every day and one never knows. What I feel is that, as in all aspects of my life, I should just participate in contacting when someone interests me, pray about it, and leave it with God. He knows just how lonely I am and he also knows if there is someone he has for me of if he has other plans for my life I don't even know of.
Female - Age Range: 61-70
I have been a member for several months. I have never had a response to any Smiles or e-mails that I've sent. Because I'm over 60 I find that the men up to age 68 mostly are interested in women up to 59 or 60. The many times I've sent an interest there has been no reply. I'm very discouraged and will probably let my membership run out. Having been a widow for a number of years, and missing the closeness and interaction of being a 'couple', I have been praying for a relationship which could possibly lead to marriage. I've been praying for a few years for God to bring someone special into my life. I'm prepared to remain single if that is God's will, but the Christian Singles concept had given me an opening to begin a search. I have read most of the letters from couples who have found someone, but I don't often see older couples responding. My church has a singles group, which is also made up of younger men and women. I will continue to pray that God will open a door, if not for a marriage relationship, then to find good friends to share my time and activities with. I will be interested to read others view points on this topic.
Female - Age Range: 61-70
I don't mind this one bit, as so many who get married now days end up in divorce it seems and I am not one of them. I don't want to get married again as losing 2 mates through death is hard, but by divorce it must be much harder.
If the Lord wants me to get married again He will find me the one that He wants me to wed. He found the others why should I not trust Him for the next if there is to be one. Friends are important too, even if you never get married again or ever.
No, I think that getting acquainted on this site is great and I think that friendships can be a lasting joy, whether marriage enters into it or not.
Male - Age Range: 21-30
The most discouraging thing is to feel as though there is something hopelessly wrong with you. The way we treat people really has an impact on whether someone is going to feel this way. I think one of the most important things to do is just be friendly with everyone on this site and to treat them with respect... especially if they are taking the time to send something more than just a 'smile'. You might not be interested inthe person, but at least being a friend is the most Christ-like thing to do. You never know how much good a little good can do.
Male - Age Range: 21-30
I was a paid member once, during which time I met a girl who actually lives close to me. So of course in due time we met in person. We became friends and were looking at the possibility of dating. Well, that didn't work out unfortunately. So do I consider my experience with this site a failure? No! I still have a wonderful friend and have made other friends through her as well as through this site.
If you're cruising here with a big bumper sticker that reads 'To Marriage or Bust,' there's a chance you might be disappointed, but if you're looking to expand your horizons, meet people, and fellowship with other Christians... Welcome to Success! -josh
Male - Age Range: 31-40
I think that God can work in many, many ways and just because you've been on this, or any other dating site with no success doesn't mean you should just 'pack it in' and try another way of meeting someone. Don't limit God.
There are few, and I mean VERY few elligible young ladies where I live so I'm doing my part to network and utilize the wonderful age of technology to perhaps put me in touch with who God has for me.
One thing to remember is that we serve an awesome God and if let Him lead and do our part then He will. Perhaps there is growth in our lives that needs to occur before God can place us with our mate. There are any number of reasons why it may be taking a while, but don't get impatient because then you might 'settle'.
Psa 37:4-5 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (5) Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.
Be true to yourself and to God. By doing so you'll be true to your future mate as well.
Male - Age Range: 31-40
Well at one point i almost called it quits.
I must say that i have been doing this for a few months now.
Then i found this site through links on our church web site.
I have tried other singles sites with little success.
But i was generaly put off by the type of people on them and the unbalanced number of members.
Some of the sites are so unbalanced as to the number of men to womem ratio that it is very discouraging.
when there are three times the number of men online as women on any given day how do you get noticed?
This also leads to lies in the profiles as they will try and do anything to get noticed!
Even fake photos are quite commen!
when you meet somone and they are not who they prettended to be its a major lett down to say the least.
So finding a site that is freindly with good members and good morals is quite challenging to say the least.
I figure that between the web sites,Church and freinds there has to be somone out there for us all its just a matter of time.
So dont give up.
Keep going and you will meet that person.
Male - Age Range: 31-40
Life in this world is not only a school, but a test too.
I ecourage them and myself to never give up the faith, pray, continue till death searching by all means, finish writting the profile and above all look for God's will.
Many more than we imagine are not passing the test either marrying the wrong person for shallow reasons or not marrying the right person for selfish or vain reasons. That's one of the reasons God hates divorce,
'And as it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be also in the days of the Son of man. They did eat, they drank, they MARRIED WIVES, they were GIVEN in MARRIAGE, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, and the flood came, and destroy them all.
Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot (...) but the same day that Lot went out of SODOM it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. EVEN THUS SHALL IT BE IN THE DAY WHEN THE SON OF MAN IS REVEALED ( Luke 17 : 26 - 30 )
Male - Age Range: 31-40
I feel that one should never give up on online dating as a viable way to meet that special someone. However, one should keep all of their options open. It's important to realize that patience in all things is a virtue. This may sound cliched but I have learned from experience that this is very true.
Male - Age Range: 31-40
I would rather remain anonymous. What a good question! My initial thought was that this is a question of balance, especially as to how much time is spent on line sending messages versus the time afforded attempts to meet others in a non-cyber setting. If I spend most of my Saturday working in the yard I find it easier to sit in front of the computer in a Christian chat room rather than shower, iron a shirt, drive to the coffee shop or bookstore or local singlese event. Yet I know that I have a better chance of meeting an interesting woman to talk with in person rather than on line. Unfortunately, I know several people who, in my estimation, spend far too much time in front of the computer waiting for the 'right' one to come along, rather than try to meet someone in person.
The plus side to meeting on line is that you know in a few minutes a basic profile of the person, their thoughts and feelings regarding several spiritual issues, their denomination, etc. It also assists us introverts in that it cuts through a lot of the small chit-chat talk, which we find so difficult.
Male - Age Range: 41-50
Unfortunately, ...YES! I have actually long since past the point of giving up. It is an act of denial for me to continue to try and find someone online. It is obviously against God's will for my life. To continue seems not only pointless and rendering myself to certain frustration and anger, but it is hindering my spiritual growth. I can not possibly be assisting in fulfilling God's plan for the salvation of others here if all I can do is search to achieve my own personal desires. The 100% failure rate I have attained in this insipid quest is proof-positive it is not meant to be. Life must be obtained from our creator, who loves us more than any earthly spouce ever could. He can and will sustain us. Praise be to our Lord, Jesus. Maybe if more of us could also just let go and let God, we could hasten His return and meet REAL fulfillment and joy in the new world. Amen.
[Editor's note: I'm happy to see you have not given up and are still a member of this site. I would suggest that you have only been a member a few months, and God might be preparing Ms. Right for you! I had a long wait for my husband, but God was waiting for him to grow up and become a Christian! He is 4 years and 3 months younger than I am and became a Christian only a year before we started dating.]
alexG:
Male - Age Range: 41-50
You may use my alias.
More often than not I am very discouraged with attempts at online dating when people post a profile, you write to them then get no response at all. A small percentage at least give a polite note saying their interests are elsewhere. I was lucky to have met one truly nice woman so far out of over a hundred I've tried to contact. It still didn't work out between her and I but it helps keep me from giving up when you do actually meet a nice person who takes the time to get to know you at least to some degree. The saddest part for me is I try to overcome my shyness but by the time I actually work up the courage to introduce myself the woman has already become involved with someone else. This has happened very recently when several people have introduced me to a woman and her son at church. When I finally went out of my way to try and talk to her she'd just finished having a 'flying day' in her male friends plane. My loss? Perhaps not if I'd taken the time to introduce myself here at CSD several months early!
Male - Age Range: 41-50
I have a minor disability, but it prevents me from getting out much. It is also probably the reason I don't get a lot of positive responses for contact. I have pretty much given up hope of actually meeting that special someone here or at other dating sites, but I have met a couple of great (email) pen pals/friends. And I find it fun sometimes, just to read what people have to say about themselves.
Male - Age Range: 41-50
ABSOLETLY NOT, JOESPH WAITED 13 YEARS AND THEN GOD BLESSED HIM, RULER OVER THE WHOLE PROVERENCE THEN. EVERYONE IN THE BIBLE HAD TO WAIT FOR SOMETHING, SOME LONGER,SOME SHORTER.
Male - Age Range: 41-50
i have been using the internet to find a compatible companion for almost three years. i have placed profiles on more than a dozen sites, both christian and non-christian. i have written my profiles with lots of information about me and my life/interests so that someone can make an informed choice about their interest in me. my profiles include a current photograph. i think that my profile is honest, and is a good reflection of what i am like, how i think, and what i like to do. in three years, very few women have thought that my profile was interesting/attractive enough to respond to. conversely, none of the women whose profile have attracted a response from me have found my profile or correspondence interesting/attractive enough to pursue a correspondence/relationship. i have been especially disappointed to say that this is true even of the christian sites. after three years, and after responding to close to two hundred profiles, yes, i definitely notice that i am slowly withdrawing from the process, and can see myself giving up sometime soon in the future. certainly, if god had someone out there for me he would have brought us together by now. you can only ask for the car keys so many times before it becomes clear that the 'no' answer that you initially received isn't going to change.
Male - Age Range: 41-50
I don't think one should give up looking or using this site. If you have not been able to get many or any referrals then it is time to also look on other sites also as it gives you a better chance to get to know someone. Sure there will be many doing the same thing being on more than one site to allow a better chance of getting to know friends and from there seeing if one of them is the right one.
The main thing is to pray for God to choose the right person for you and even when you get to know friends in other ways pray for God's guidance in the choice of someone, just like you would someone you have been dating for some time to know if this is the person for you. I know it works as if you are not meant for each other things will happen. For me I ended up finding from her even after just spending time with her for a week and came home to find out that though she cared about me she was about to marry someone else which was a shock when she told me she loved me on the phone when I got home and in an email told me she was getting married to someone else in a month. It hurt but with praying I knew it was not meant to be and was able to handle the grief it caused. We are still friends and can talk to each other when we see each other somewhere.
Male - Age Range: 51-60
When a situation is thrust upon us by another, for whatever reason they choose, and that person decides to remove herself, or himself, from our life, it is certainly a natural reaction to want to go into retreat mode.
It would certainly be much easier if the Lord just some instructed us by saying in some manner or fashion, 'Hey, there is Mr or Ms. Right. Go get her or him.' As we know, it does not work that way.
Consequently, there are times in life when we get our 'hearts broken', 'spirits crushed', and experience all the negative emotions that go with being rejected by another.
Bonnie Raitt sang a song called, 'I Can't Make You Love Me.' While, in our 'heart-of-hearts' we may deeply long for someone we consider to be that very special person to feel what we feel for her/him, if that person decides not to have a relationship with us, we merely have to deal with the painful hurt and rejection that is experienced as a result. It is, unfortunately, part of our human experience and existence.
Our loving Creator gives us all free will. We are free to accept or reject the Trinity and the love They have for us. It is our choice. If we consciously decide to accept the invitation we shall spend eternity in an existence of love. If we reject it we face eternal destruction.
Just as God has chosen to make us beings with free wills, so we must come to the realization that there will be those we encounter in life who will reject us. It is not pleasant. It hurts. It causes us pain. It causes us tears.
While God knows that more than likely most people on the planet from the beginning of recorded human history, until the end of recorded time, will reject the love and invitation of eternal life, They still decided to make us beings with the gift of choice.
God did not make us robots lacking in free will and possessing the ability to choose.
Certainly we could be robots lacking in free will and choice if the Godhead had decided to make us in that manner. So, the entire concept of free will is something we all have to deal with in life.
So, should those of us who have experienced the 'broken-hearted-syndrome' give up on using this medium to possibly find that special one who can make all the positive difference in our life? This is a question that, of course, must be individually answered.
It just seems logical that we should use whatever technology is available to us in our quest.
Everything in life requires prayer and deciding how to go about trying to find that 'special someone' certainly requires more than a lot of decisions.
If someone elects to give up using this service, 'pack it in', and become a 'cave dweller'
or choosing to live as an island unto his/herself, that decision could result in not meeting that special someone God has for you.
Life is full of risks. We face them everyday. Every time we leave home there is no guarantee we will return. All we can do is keep our relationship with God as the number priority of life.
With continued communication between those we meet here perhaps we may find the special person we seek.
If we choose to leave we will have eliminated one avenue of contact. It seems we should have as many options available to us as possible.
May the Lord bless all of us in our search.
GhostEagle:
Male - Age Range: 51-60
You may use my alias.
I believe that there SHOULD NEVER come a time when someone who has been a member on this site for a long time. However, reality is that there may come a time when it is just easier to give up hope because nothing appears to have come of the investment of time and finances. I live in a remote part of our country where there is a lower possibility of meeting 'that someone' and have been on this site for nearly 3 years. Most of the contacts that I have made have come and gone with a few holdover friends, but noone special. I have recently come close to giving up entirely but decided to hang on for another term. Please, Father, send your promise to me soon!
easygo:
Male - Age Range: 51-60
You may use my alias.
I have traveled to singles' meetings up to 400 miles, but that has been wasted effort so far, so, considering I'm out here in the boondocks, online 'meet marketing' is the only thing going. Even if it hasn't worked yet, it doesn't mean it never will.
God Bless!
lovsgod:
Male - Age Range: 61-70
You may use my alias. Frequently I feel ready to 'pack it in' as this site and others make it most difficult to write and meet enough people. The cost becomes prohibitive when one is on various sites. Many of the same parties are on other sites, but often with a different alias (myself included) And most of them are interconnected in some fashion. Though this site gives a discount for us 'older' lookers,(I have not taken advantage of it) there needs to be a differnt cost factor. Also when writing forget about the weather, cats and dogs and get into what one likes, really likes, it might turn some off but then no time is wasted with mundane topics. If one is looking for a marriage partner, then these subjects need to be addressed (especially if you are getting older and don't want to waste a lot of time with trivial words) such as religion, sexuality, finances, relatives, etc. The things that cause disagreements down the road. Would we have enough money to get along, whose house, feelings about expressing emotions and sexual desires (in this area most are reluctant to discuss candidly, yet God put these desires in us), do women enjoy or not. Does a man have an impotency problem, etc. What about children, yours and mine, how do we share our possessions and how do we give them on down. All of these things are hard to do on these sites and until one can get an e-mail or phone number to talk in depth (and yes later on to meet) it just seems (to me) that most of these times, yes I get ready to 'pack it in' What do you think?
[Editor's Note: We try to encourage our seniors by offering the $5.00 Hardship plan for them and also seniors get 365 days for their membership payment. I don't know what other 'payment plan' you feel would help. I'd be interested in hearing if you care to share.]
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