|
|
|
|
New for You! Serious Relationship Questions to Ask
Description: What are some questions you think it is very important to have answered prior to getting into a serious relationship?
Categories: Dating, Pen Pals, Friends: Cyber Dating, Member Surveys, Relationships: Singles
This Post has been viewed 17787 times.
Submitted by: Nannette | View Member Profile | View Other Posts
Created: 2/10/2003
What are some questions you think it is very important to have answered prior to getting into a serious relationship? Our members respond:
Female - Age Range: 21-30
Where there from,age,name,what they like,domination,their intenists
Cutesy:
Female - Age Range: 21-30
You may use my alias
What are your family values? Do you wish to have kids?
How were you raised and would like to raise your children? How do you feel about your parents?
What are your spritual values? Are you committed to growing in your r'ship with God? Do you intend to be in Heaven?
How do you use your finances? are you a spender? what assets do you think are of most importance? do you believe in tithing? How do you feel about investments eg. stocks
What are your attitudes toward sex and romance? are you a pleaser? what are the things that you dislike about sex? are there certain acts that you are unwilling to perform? how do you feel about birth control and who should be using it?
What are your goals? how have you achieved them thus far and how do you hope to achieve them? are you a go getter? would you support your mate as he/she moves up the corporate ladder?
Are you a possessive person? Do you have an anger problem? What is y our philosphy of life? what would you like out of a marriage? is it easy for you to laugh? are you an affectionate person?
These are the questions that I would ask based on what I have determined is important for me..but I believe that certain things are pretty clear cut eg. no wife beaters..and other things depend on personal preferences..Hope this has helped..
Female - Age Range: 21-30
Was God there to lay a foundation of your relationship if not why cause his got to be consulted so he can make sure its the right date for you?
Female - Age Range: 21-30
Does your partner have or have they been sexually active with someone who has AIDS or other STD's?
How sexually active are/have they been?
How many partners have they had?
Chicwithwit:
Female - Age Range: 21-30
'You may use my alias'
Hmmmm... Just my '.02' from my 'female' perspective... Obviously, parts of the following questions would only get answered after dating someone for a while and getting to know them or even being in a serious relationship with them for a time.
(1)“Does the person actually care enough about me to really listen to what I’m saying?” “If I make reference to something do they care enough about me to inquire further about it in an effort to understand me - where I’m coming from and why?”
(2)“Does the other person ask me about my life… my hopes… my dreams?” Or are they only interested in sharing their hopes, life and dreams with you?
(3)After getting to know each other for a while, - “Do I find myself comfortable enough with the other person not to just want to, but actually pick up the phone and talk?” (This is a good indication of whether they have consciously or unconsciously communicated TO YOU their interest/pleasure about hearing from you or if you’re just another “iron in the fire.”)
(4)“Are our goals, lifestyle choices and ‘mission’ in life compatible?” If they are different enough that they don’t appear compatible at first glance, are the differences things that the two of us could compromise on or come to an agreed upon understanding that we both would honestly feel good about?
(5)Does the other person plan to do ‘what they want to do’ before what you want to do or what would make you feel comfortable? (If they truly like you, want to get to know you more, etc. they will want to take every opportunity to spend time with you regardless of whether they are doing something they personally “like” or not.)
(6)Are they respectful of your thoughts, “boundaries” and opinions even if the two of you don’t agree?
(7)“Are they close to their family?” If not, why? Are the reasons valid? “What kind of comments do they make about their family?” (None of us have perfect families!) Chances are, whether their comments lean towards the positive or negative (regardless of flaws!) is a good indication of whether the glass will be “half-full” or “half-empty” regarding me once we become familiar to each other.
(8)“Have I thought about what truly matters to me regarding character and “inner” qualities?” (Hint: The shorter the list the more we are able to evaluate what is essential to us and what isn’t!) “Which ones are non-negotiable in a mate for me and which less-than-desirable traits are something I can live with?” (Cuz we all have them!) Does the other person have the “non-negotiables?”
(9)After getting to know the other person, do I find myself more or less physically attracted to them than in the beginning? (Not that they have to be attractive by the world's standards, but the other person should be attractive to you - 'in your eyes.' After all, you may only be waking up next to them for the rest of your life!)
(10)“Do I truly and honestly RESPECT the other person?” (In my experience, without this, in the end NOTHING else matters.)
(11)Can you trust them with a secret or with a problem? If you were to get married would they keep your “issues” just between the two of you?
(12)“What is their history?” Do they know yours? Have you had a chance to meet people who’ve known them for a period of time (preferably many years)? Have they kept positive, meaningful friendships for long periods of time? Do they “wear” well?
(13)“Am I just a challenge to them?” “Something to be conquered?” If so, once I am “conquered” there is bound to be another 'challenge' around the corner…
(14)“Do we both honestly like some of the same type of activities – the type of things we could do together long-term in a marriage?”
(15)How does the other person view gender roles? What are their expectations of those roles should we have children?
(16)Does the other person know how to laugh? :o) Is it important to you that they know how to make you smile/laugh? :o)
(17)VERY IMPORTANT: “Does the other person think for themselves?” “Are they easily swayed by whoever they are around or currently listening to?” “Do they investigate to see if something is true or not or do they believe whatever they are told?” “Do they ever nicely ‘agree to disagree’ with you or do they always cater their answers to what they think you want to hear?”
(18) ALSO VERY IMPORTANT: Are they committed to spending some time “just them and God” on a daily basis? Seek ye first… and all these things will be added!
Question for women:
(19)Remembering and taking into consideration that a couple should first and foremost be a 'team' (two people who BOTH have 'input' into important decisions) - do you believe that the man/husband is to be the 'final decision maker,' or the 'priest/spiritual leader' of the home? If so, do you TRUST him and RESPECT his judgment enough to be supportive of him and allow him to do his job should you eventually marry?
Question for men (a.k.a. a disguised vent):
(20) I have wondered why it is that a lot of 'Christian' men seem to lack faith in the whole “intimacy” issue? They want their “cake” – immediate gratification in a dating relationship with someone… and “eat it too” – gratification with a Christian woman as their wife. The question is – What do you really want? Is God the author of sexual intimacy or not? Is He not greater and wiser than you and I are? If you think so, then, regardless of your history (or hers) why not believe that if you 'wait' for the one God picks for you, intimacy with that person in His time will be much more fulfilling than more immediate intimacy with that person (or someone else) on your own timetable. Besides, even though it may be hard on both of you in the short-term, you will win 'your lady's' admiration and respect... and my guess is you will be “repaid” a hundred plus times over for it in the long-term when the time is right. :o)
Female - Age Range: 41-50
The most important question of all is do you have a one on one relationship with the Lord?
Have you ever been married? Would you marry again?
Do you have children? Do you want children?
Would you move to another state if the relationship became serious enough?
Female - Age Range: 51-60
Although there are many questions to be asked, one question which comes to mind that I believe is seldom asked by women to men is 'Have you ever been involved with pornography'. One would not expect to get a 'yes' answer to that on this site, but you would be surprized how often you will. I, for one, would not want to be involved with someone that is been involved with that.
Male - Age Range: 21-30
Among many important questions to ask one another before getting into commitments is, How does he/she treats her mother/father? Unbelievable but true, exectly the same way, sooner or later, he will treat his wife. After all the first emotional excitment of love calms down and daily life kicks in the real deep hidden personality will be coming out. Learning to love those you're stuck with.
-Lawrence
Male - Age Range: 31-40
There are many that can be addressed. However, I think the four majors areas that I've come to understand that a couple should DEFINITELY have agreement on is Religion, Finances, Children and In-Laws. In addition to these areas, there is a book by Neil Clark Warren entitled, 'Finding The Love Of Your Life,' in which there is a '50-Item List of Helpful Marriage Similarities' which can be considered by a couple whose definition of 'serious relationship' means one in which marriage is the end result.
Matt633:
Male - Age Range: 41-50
You may use my alias
Since this is a Christian site, I guess the most important questions to be answered are those relating to one's relationship with the Lord. Questions would include: What is your testimony of salvation? How long have you been a Christian? Have you ever strayed from Jesus, and if so for how long? What, if any, responsibilities do you have in church (teaching Sunday School, singing in the Choir, etc.)?
Other questions to ask: If divorced, the reason(s) why (not every last detail of course, just the basics). What are your beliefs about child-rearing, politics, money, etc.
I think that pretty much covers the areas that have to be clarified before getting into a serious relationship.
Bye for now
easygo:
Male - Age Range: 51-60
You may use my alias. Having an understanding of common personality/temperament types is almost crucial in my opinion.
Male - Age Range: 51-60
Serious relationship?
I guess, that match very rarely.
Guapo2000:
Male - Age Range: 71 plus
'You may use my alias'
Two Questions: How do we start and how do we part? When does one know it is 'serious?' It may be felt to be serious by one and not the other and that needs to be considered and discussed. In any case, the parting of a relationship will always occur one way or another. You just ignore the other or you get ignored, you drift apart, you tear apart, you decide to part, you divorce, you get killed or you die. The topics to be touched on early should be; where are we going with this, how long and in what way are we going to keep relating to each other.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Copyright (c) 1993-2009 Nannette Thacker, Shining Star Services LLC ChristianSinglesDating.com
Free Trial! Chat, Photos, Search, Christian values, 2-way match, love.
Christian Singles|Christian Pen Pals|Christian Marriage|Christian Dating|Christian Chat|Personals Ads
|
